Our habits can often entrap us into dull, lifeless relationships. Where we go through the motions, but there isn't any joy in them. We aren't connecting, listening, or actually FEELING for one another. On the surface, it all looks great, maybe nobody is arguing, shouting, yelling... but you and your husband are sort of like two ships that pass in the night. I know I felt that way a lot during the months after our baby was first born. I would have to stay up to feed the baby and hubby would go to bed. He would get up in the morning, and I'd be sunk deep into the mattress, exhausted from 3 overnight feedings. One time, I didn't even remember him kissing me goodbye on his way to work. That night he told me that when he kissed me goodbye, I had mumbled something about, "It won't heat up. I can't get it to heat up!" (I was probably talking about our stove, but maybe subconsciously about our relationship! LOL). I had NO recollection of him saying goodbye to me, or of mumbling something so incoherent!
I realized we needed to make some changes to bring the life back into our, well, LIFE!
- We reduced our cable to basic, and started using Netflix to order movies we REALLY wanted to see. This meant that we spent less time just channel surfing, and more time enjoying a movie we BOTH had been looking forward to. It was like having a mini date night!
- I started asking hubby to come with me for walks around the block before or after dinner. This also got us away from the TV and computer. Even if we didn't talk much at first, we were just together without distractions, other than our baby. The fresh air was good for us, and we have had some fun and silly conversations as a result of just getting out of the house!
- I've talked about this before, but we needed to find another way to communicate. Hubby doesn't text much, but instead, he likes to leave me little notes around the house, and vice versa. Finding a note in an unexpected place really perks up the day. It's small, but anything to shake up the routines and get your mind thinking about your spouse instead of inspecting whether that stain came out of baby's onesie!
- I started to menu plan again, so I wasn't always having to ask hubby to help with dinner or to throw together something last minute that tasted terrible. Nothing kills time together like gnawing on dried out pork chops or going to separate rooms with a bowl of cereal. Family meal time is a staple in our house, and making sure we protected this time, despite the effort it took really protected our relationship too!
What little switches have you made to keep your relationship fresh?
DISCLOSURE: I wrote this blog post while participating in the SocialMoms and Cottonelle blogging program, for a gift card worth $25. For more information on how you can participate, click here.